Sultry Twin Dress

Becky Tumewu

When I first saw this, you know I think she looks great from the neck up. But when I scrolled down to see the entire outfit I thought, ‘My God she looks slutty!’. I don’t know who designed this dress but whoever it was, he/she must’ve been high on something.

No single woman on this planet would wear anything like this unless she is : a) a not so famous dangdut singer trying to get the spotlight; b) a prostitute who comes from a small village who thinks she looks glam and ‘expensive’; or c) a woman who just lost a lot of weight wanting to show off all the hard work she’s done but is still not brave enough to wear such low neckline so she wears a black bra and confesses that it’s part of the dress.

Such a fashion crime. Sigh.

With all my heart,

Miss K

Additional note from Lady V :

Respond to the request to post Early wearing the same dress in the picture below. Eng ing eeeeng…..

Andhara Early

Gurita Segalanya

Bella Saphira

Hey look who’s back in the (low) spotlight…… I wonder what she’s been doing lately, now that she showed up proudly showing off her new gurita stagen. Now I’m thinking she’d been hiding for 9 months and secretly gave birth to a child, and she had to put on this stagen to keep her belly back in shape.. And she just walked out of the house still wearing her old daster.

With all my heart,

Miss K

Blissful Saturday Segalanya

Hi all the fabulous readers of Kaulah Segalanya…

We would like to say thanks for all your supports, for spending time to read our ‘blog of fool’, for all your sweet to nasty comments, for the love and hate. Thank you.

Also, we would like to say thanks to all our celebrities for all their efforts to keep up the outstanding looks so they get a chance to exist in Kaulah Segalanya.

In the last 3 weeks, we have posted 29 articles and we’re hoping we can keep updating this blog whenever we can. There are two upcoming award events this May, better prepare yourselves!! For all the celebrities, think really really hard before you decide what to wear. Because you’re all under Kaulah Segalanya’s radar. For the readers, keep visiting our blog and please leave your comments!!

Welcome to all our new readers, just enjoy and don’t think too serious about this blog. Don’t forget to check our PREVIOUS ENTRIES for more excitements!!

Once again we’d like to leave you with this quote :

“Life is a comedy for those who think, and a tragedy for those who feel.”

With all our hearts and love,

Miss K & Lady V

Who the hell are they?

Aishiteru

Okay…. You see this picture above. Just fyi, The band’s name is Aishiteru, I’ve never heard their music and I don’t bother to know. All of my life I’ve been judging people by their fashion and music taste (we’re not talking about heart and feeling here, okay.. hahah). Sorry that I have to say in honest that these boys style are major disasters… What more bad things can I say?

Why don’t we just listen to their explanations :

The boy in the far left with stripes blazer : “Actually I don’t understand why I have to wear this with un-matching tie I borrowed from my dad. My friend in the middle pushed me to dress like this or else he will hit me with his stick. I’m scared.”

The boy with sunglasses and red jacket : “This is the coolest shoes I have, I want my outfit dominated in red so maybe our band will get an offer to support Megawati’s campaign…”

The boy with a strange collar or tie or whatever it is who’s also wearing hand gloves : “I’m the leader in this band. No one can wear these white hand gloves but me! Only me! HA HA HA HA HA…. The others in this band only can wear sneakers… And I’m the only one who can wear a hat in this band…!!! HA HA HA HA HA. I STAND OUT from the others…”

The boy with red tie and too-short-too-tight blazer : “Ehrm… I’m fine…. It’s not too tight…. Uff.. I’ve been practicing to hold my breath all the time so I’m shaped with this outfit… Ughh..”

The boy in the far right with outdated Tin Tin hair : “Playing in this band is not enough to pay my Kost-an rent, I have to do another job as a Door Man in a hotel… And the only reason I’m staying in this band only is because I wanna be close with this boy beside me, I just wanna hug him aaaall the time…. Mmm.. that’s off the record though..”

Well…Okay, guys..Whatever…. Good luck with your career…!!!

With love,

Lady V

Now what, Sania?

This woman succesfully cracked me up with this photo :

Sania

Could someone please explain to me WHAT is going on with Siti Tuti Susilawati Sutisna A.K.A Sania….?? She looks like a disastereous mutant-soldier in an alien army from a body-hair-fearing planet, sent to Earth trying to get some part in Tim Burton’s Alice In Wonderland? No waaaayyy… Even this creature is too horror for Star Trek.

When I saved this note to this blog’s draft, the following IMs happened:

Lady V : Have you checked my draft, K? I have a surprise for you…
Miss K : Wait a moment… still opening..
Miss K : astaghfirullaaaaaahaladziiiiiiiimmmmmmmmm….. my eyes… my eyes…
Miss K : W T F??? I mean, seriously, just W T F?
Miss K : huahauhauhahuahuahuhuahuahuahuahauhau
Lady V : I know…. I know… Geeez… How desperate do you think she is?

I think she’s actually having fun. She’s worn so much crap in her career she probably doesn’t even notice how she looks anymore.

But this one is on top of everything else……

…………she looks retarded.

Well, boys and girls.. The moral that we can learn from this article is : Just because you’re wearing something different does not mean it’s stylish or fashionable. This is not edgy, it’s disturbing.

With love,

Lady V

Memey-Who Segalanya

Cut Memey

Uuughh.. I hate this dress on her! It looks so cheap… It might be cute on someone else but not on Cut Memey, that’s for sure!!

And why does she have to wear ankle leggings???? If you’re not brave enough to wear a short dress then don’t wear it… (Eeww.. The image of you wearing a short dress sickens me…) As simple as that… Wearing leggings in ugly color underneath it is not an answer. Oh poor thing.

With all my heart,

Miss K

Segalanya Bagus

Carissa Putri

Wooww… She looks amazing here.. This is what I’m talking about girls!! I think this color looks great with her skin. She looks sophisticated and rich but not over the top. Although… I’m not sure ’bout the chain hanging on the side, don’t know why it’s there.. I would lose it.. but the rest is GORGEOUS!!

With all my heart,

Miss K

AMIS (Anugerah Musik Indonesia Segalanya) Awards 2009

Special report from the red carpet of AMIS (Anugerah Musik Indonesia Segalanya) Awards 2009

Kotak

Lady V : Shit..shit.. I don’t even know the name of a single person from this  band…whatever..hmmm…I think I know the band’s name.. Kotak, right?

Miss K : V, you don’t need to know the names of the members of any band who dress up like Twiggy Ramirez from his early shameless teenage years…

Lady V : You see K… That girl who ALWAYS wears fish net on her arms, she’s like a fashion disaster with a badly shaped body who sings in a Metal-gak dapet-band. When you have such a hard-to-dress body you have to be careful about what you wear. That red-belt looks like it’s just clinging unfit on her not-ideal hip, doesn’t help to make the black tutu look better at all.

Miss K : Do they really think by pulling off poses like the devil horn and cross-pointing they are COOL?? Even my 6 year old nephew got sick already with those poses..

Lady V : I think they’re just trying so hard,K…  If they’re not wearing those New Rock boots or black & red color theme outfits or giving someone the metal finger, how will people know who they are?

Giring Nidji

Miss K : Hey, it’s Giring.. I think he looks a bit too casual and laid back to go to an award show. Although I don’t find anything disturbing except for his hair…?

Lady V : I wouldn’t slag him badly. But yeah his hair is kinda disturbing. But, the flannel shirt?? Maybe he just misses the college moment when he was late for his morning class and just grabbed anything from his laundry bag.

Julia Perez

Miss K : Dear God.. This dress looks like it should be very expensive but when you take a closer look you’ll see those are alumunium foils shaped and stuck together to form jewel-like feeling. Talk to me, V!

Lady V : It scares the hell out of me..!! Let me put it to you this way: We saw Julia Perez’s breasts before we saw her face, and we suspect that’s exactly how she wanted it.

Agnes Monica

Lady V : Oh poor Agnes.. I know that she’s a busy lady with a thousand of activities… Did those activities cause her amnesiac?? Made her forget she was supposed to go the shower room bringing her towel, but she skipped that and went straight to an award show…!!

Miss K : Well it seems that her outrageous stage outfits made her realize that she should dress more subtle to go to events like this, but not LAZY! Put some more effort will you Agnes?

Yuni Shara

Miss K : Yet another belly dancer wannabe here.. You know what, I think the dress is fine, but when she added the earrings AND the headband….it just got really really ugly…

Lady V : I hate the dress… I don’t like the surface of the fabric, too many pleats, weird pattern, phufh…. I think she’s obsessed with coins, she has been collecting all those coins since she was a little girl… Then now she can show it to all the people by putting all on her dress, headband and earrings…

Mey Chan Ratu

Miss K : V, don’t you think Mey Chan looks cute here?? I can’t decide whether I like or hate the dress..

Lady V : She’s alright… I’m not complaining here.. The print’s color looks nice on her skin, and good thinking for not wearing too much accessories because the dress itself already busy enough. Keep it up…!!

The Changcuters

Lady V : Here they are…!! My mateys…! I know they would never let me down… These guys know how to dress up…  Nice bronze color choice for the tie, and the motif of the blazer is perfect though the size a bit too big but it’s fine. People slaggin’ them about their lack of skills and copycat of The Horrors style, well it’s not wrong getting influenced as long it still suits them. And who says their pants are too tight?? With their body size, it’s okay wearing pants like that..Keep suited and booted (with your own way)!

Miss K : All I have to say is…. They all sure have skinny little legs!!! (And penises also? If I can say that..? Lady V whispers that in my ears). But look what we have here along with the boys…..

Tyas Mirasih

Miss K : Oh my….. This girl here should ask her better dressed boyfriend for some advice before she puts any clothes on. V, do you think she looks much much older than her actual age??

Lady V : Pardon me to be frank, K.. The make up is totally horrible, makes her look really old…Hmmm… I think she just feels exhausted with people who keep calling her a groupie, and wanna show them that she can do more. That’s why she’s trying hard to be skinnier and change her gender so she can join her boyfriend’s band…!

Sophie Navita & Pongki Jikustik

Miss K : Aaaww.. I love it when cute couples like this one go to an award show together hand in hand in perfect harmony.. Wait..this couple isn’t harmonized visually…

Lady V : Aaaaaalll wrooong with her outfit…  I actually kinda like that ikat kimono shirt, but she shouldn’t have worn it with all of those things… Why must that white & red stripes tube top?? Why that plastic purple necklace and pink bangles? Why that glittery saphire blue belt? It all annoys me….

Miss K : The purple necklace to match the purple nails…? Can’t answer your other questions…

Titi Kamal

Lady V : Nothing brilliant about this dress, though I have to appreciate the workmanship and the cut of this dress, which (she thinks) does flatter her. But I HATE the color!!!! Don’t you, K?

Miss K : Yeah.. My stomach immediately reacts to the embellishment they put on the waist and chest.. And that necklace!!! Take it off!

Lady V : It’s faaaaar from haute couture.. Just like how far her voice is to be a decent singer.

Iis Dahlia

Miss K : AAAAAAHHHHHH………

Lady V : WHAT?? WHAT??

Miss K : She scared the shit out of me!!!! Hey…. V, is there a possibility that Iis Dahlia and that scary guy are having an affair? Since they’re both wearing black in a scary kind of feeling??

Lady V : Oh, you mean Limbad, the guy from The Master Show? You have to becareful K…. Don’t talk shit ’bout him or else he’ll use his magic to turn your dress into a tragic ruffle piece that can strangle your own neck!!

Miss K : SSHHHHHH…….. (whispering) He’s right behind you………..

Limbad The Master

Lady V : AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH… (whispering) He smells like kemenyan….

Miss K : No…no..no… Master…. We’re not gossiping about you…

Lady V : Noooo we’re noooot….. Sorry……… You look great, you look great!! Nice leather coat!

Miss K : PERFECT fit!!! Loooooove it……!

Lady V : Okay, see you later…….

(Walking away from Limbad)

(Suddenly we bumped into someone who looks familiar but looks 30 years younger..)

Ridho Rhoma

Miss K : ……… Uuuummm……….. V.. Who is this guy??

Lady V : Oh no….. I can’t stand his chest hair…. Iiieeewww….. It’s Ridho Rhoma, K!!! Huhuhuhu…. I don’t wanna look around anymore… I have enough of this red carpet… Please take me home….

Miss K : ……………………….. OK! Let’s go!

With all our hearts & love,

Miss K & Lady V

Reportrepot from BKK : Goddess Persik no have shit shit! (Dewi Persik ga ada taik taiknya!)

Special Contributor (Thailand)

Chotiros Suriyawong

Namanya tertulis Chotiros Suriyawong, umur 24 tahun, kewarganegaraan Thailand, pekerjaan aktris.
Entah mengapa namanya seperti itu, dalam bahasa Thai dibaca Chotirot Suriyawong. Sepertinya baju ini tersinspirasi dari namanya (Chotirot Suriyawong: COlongan inTIp auROT SUsu buYar pahA loWONG), begitu kata aki-aki funky yang ikut heboh di belakangnya. Well she was the headline back then in 2007, just google her name and you’ll find out, or you can check it here for details and more pics, hoho. Sebaiknya dia punya argumen yang kuat untuk menyangkal pandangan miring orang-orang akan baju ber-anak tangganya itu , misalnya dengan bilang, “Ah ini biasa aja kok, malahan konseptual, sebagai aktris yang sedang naik daun, tangga di baju saya untuk nunjukin tentang harapan, bagaimana saya bisa naik daun kalo gak pake tangga?” atau, “Gara-gara global warming kan cuaca jadi panas tuh ya, saya biar adem aja sih pake baju kayak gini, tadinya mau bawa AC tapi berat, begini kan praktis”.  Kalau dia jawab seperti itu yaah Dewi Persik ada lah taik taiknya…dikit. Secara visual Chotirot tetap lebih unggul bukan?

Khor Thot ( Meski terdengar jorok namun artinya “Maaf“)

A Friend of Miss K

Segalanya pun RANcu

RAN

Look how cute these guys are…. They also wanna beat all those girls with their colorful bow ties. Even though I think this concept of style actually suits the three of them. But that doesn’t mean that wearing clowny silly outfits is the answer. That’s why when I saw this, I was like, “They look so CUTE! Are they clowns? But they’re cute and colorful! But are they clowns? But they might be CUTE clowns. My head hurts.”

With love,

Lady V

Giant Bow (AGAIN!) Segalanya

Tyas Mirasih

Dear Tyas,

We know that you’re a grown up woman now. You should’ve realized that remaking the dress you wore for your 5th birthday and wearing it again at this age wasn’t right. This is just too short. And too overwhelming, not in a good way. And what’s the point with that throw-pillow size bow? Hmm… no it’s a bed-pillow size..!! And again..BOWS!! But we’re  not holding our breaths for answers.

You’re still young, but what would your boyfriend’s parents feel if they have a chance to google your name and all they can find only your photos with all the slutty outfits that show lots of skin? We’re sure that you’re a nice lady, so try to wear something that covers more of your skin.

With all our hearts and love,

Miss K & Lady V

Santainya Sania

Sania

Eeeew…Look! It’s a giant wedding cake figurine! Although she’s not wearing a wedding dress… It’s more like an outfit made of very cheap grandma lingerie and old daster she could find in Gede Bage market and combined them to create this one of a kind trashy dress. It also reminds me of a night gown from the 18th century, but the difference is while they wore it to sleep you’re wearing it in public dengan santai sajaaa… Well done Sania…

With all my heart,

Miss K

AlyssaSyagalalalalanya

Alyssa Subandono

What is happening here? Is this a Halloween party?? How old is this girl?? How come she looks like somehow she has grown up too fast and skipped puberty?  Especially when she tried to strike a pose here wearing a belly dancer costume made out of shitty fabric with ridiculous design, that is so unflattering it makes her nipple look like it’s erecting hard! Jeez………… What do you wanna try to tell us, Alyssa? I’m outta words.

With all my heart,

Miss K

Segalanya Witch Queen

Elma Theana

Astaghfirullahaladzim…. I am so terrified of this picture!! She looks like the scary witch from Sleeping Beauty but from another galaxy.. Who just decided that she wants to be the next Lia Eden by using lamé fabric as a toga.. What kind of black magic have you got, witch??

Witch all my heart,

Miss K

Dukun Segalanya

Denada

OH MY GOD….WTF?!!!   …..    ……..     ……..

I’m in SHOCK…  I couldn’t think of what to write about this wacky look.  It caused disturbing frustration to myself, this disaster is simply unforgivable!

I don’t think I need to find any words to comment here or explain in detail about what is wrong with this look. And I can’t stand any longer to stare at this photo.

Ampuuuun Mbah Denada, saya jangan di santet yah karena posting photo ini di blog saya….

With love

Lady V