Special report from the red carpet of AMIS (Anugerah Musik Indonesia Segalanya) Awards 2009
Kotak
Lady V : Shit..shit.. I don’t even know the name of a single person from this band…whatever..hmmm…I think I know the band’s name.. Kotak, right?
Miss K : V, you don’t need to know the names of the members of any band who dress up like Twiggy Ramirez from his early shameless teenage years…
Lady V : You see K… That girl who ALWAYS wears fish net on her arms, she’s like a fashion disaster with a badly shaped body who sings in a Metal-gak dapet-band. When you have such a hard-to-dress body you have to be careful about what you wear. That red-belt looks like it’s just clinging unfit on her not-ideal hip, doesn’t help to make the black tutu look better at all.
Miss K : Do they really think by pulling off poses like the devil horn and cross-pointing they are COOL?? Even my 6 year old nephew got sick already with those poses..
Lady V : I think they’re just trying so hard,K… If they’re not wearing those New Rock boots or black & red color theme outfits or giving someone the metal finger, how will people know who they are?
Giring Nidji
Miss K : Hey, it’s Giring.. I think he looks a bit too casual and laid back to go to an award show. Although I don’t find anything disturbing except for his hair…?
Lady V : I wouldn’t slag him badly. But yeah his hair is kinda disturbing. But, the flannel shirt?? Maybe he just misses the college moment when he was late for his morning class and just grabbed anything from his laundry bag.
Julia Perez
Miss K : Dear God.. This dress looks like it should be very expensive but when you take a closer look you’ll see those are alumunium foils shaped and stuck together to form jewel-like feeling. Talk to me, V!
Lady V : It scares the hell out of me..!! Let me put it to you this way: We saw Julia Perez’s breasts before we saw her face, and we suspect that’s exactly how she wanted it.
Agnes Monica
Lady V : Oh poor Agnes.. I know that she’s a busy lady with a thousand of activities… Did those activities cause her amnesiac?? Made her forget she was supposed to go the shower room bringing her towel, but she skipped that and went straight to an award show…!!
Miss K : Well it seems that her outrageous stage outfits made her realize that she should dress more subtle to go to events like this, but not LAZY! Put some more effort will you Agnes?
Yuni Shara
Miss K : Yet another belly dancer wannabe here.. You know what, I think the dress is fine, but when she added the earrings AND the headband….it just got really really ugly…
Lady V : I hate the dress… I don’t like the surface of the fabric, too many pleats, weird pattern, phufh…. I think she’s obsessed with coins, she has been collecting all those coins since she was a little girl… Then now she can show it to all the people by putting all on her dress, headband and earrings…
Mey Chan Ratu
Miss K : V, don’t you think Mey Chan looks cute here?? I can’t decide whether I like or hate the dress..
Lady V : She’s alright… I’m not complaining here.. The print’s color looks nice on her skin, and good thinking for not wearing too much accessories because the dress itself already busy enough. Keep it up…!!
The Changcuters
Lady V : Here they are…!! My mateys…! I know they would never let me down… These guys know how to dress up… Nice bronze color choice for the tie, and the motif of the blazer is perfect though the size a bit too big but it’s fine. People slaggin’ them about their lack of skills and copycat of The Horrors style, well it’s not wrong getting influenced as long it still suits them. And who says their pants are too tight?? With their body size, it’s okay wearing pants like that..Keep suited and booted (with your own way)!
Miss K : All I have to say is…. They all sure have skinny little legs!!! (And penises also? If I can say that..? Lady V whispers that in my ears). But look what we have here along with the boys…..
Tyas Mirasih
Miss K : Oh my….. This girl here should ask her better dressed boyfriend for some advice before she puts any clothes on. V, do you think she looks much much older than her actual age??
Lady V : Pardon me to be frank, K.. The make up is totally horrible, makes her look really old…Hmmm… I think she just feels exhausted with people who keep calling her a groupie, and wanna show them that she can do more. That’s why she’s trying hard to be skinnier and change her gender so she can join her boyfriend’s band…!
Sophie Navita & Pongki Jikustik
Miss K : Aaaww.. I love it when cute couples like this one go to an award show together hand in hand in perfect harmony.. Wait..this couple isn’t harmonized visually…
Lady V : Aaaaaalll wrooong with her outfit… I actually kinda like that ikat kimono shirt, but she shouldn’t have worn it with all of those things… Why must that white & red stripes tube top?? Why that plastic purple necklace and pink bangles? Why that glittery saphire blue belt? It all annoys me….
Miss K : The purple necklace to match the purple nails…? Can’t answer your other questions…
Titi Kamal
Lady V : Nothing brilliant about this dress, though I have to appreciate the workmanship and the cut of this dress, which (she thinks) does flatter her. But I HATE the color!!!! Don’t you, K?
Miss K : Yeah.. My stomach immediately reacts to the embellishment they put on the waist and chest.. And that necklace!!! Take it off!
Lady V : It’s faaaaar from haute couture.. Just like how far her voice is to be a decent singer.
Iis Dahlia
Miss K : AAAAAAHHHHHH………
Lady V : WHAT?? WHAT??
Miss K : She scared the shit out of me!!!! Hey…. V, is there a possibility that Iis Dahlia and that scary guy are having an affair? Since they’re both wearing black in a scary kind of feeling??
Lady V : Oh, you mean Limbad, the guy from The Master Show? You have to becareful K…. Don’t talk shit ’bout him or else he’ll use his magic to turn your dress into a tragic ruffle piece that can strangle your own neck!!
Miss K : SSHHHHHH…….. (whispering) He’s right behind you………..
Limbad The Master
Lady V : AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH… (whispering) He smells like kemenyan….
Miss K : No…no..no… Master…. We’re not gossiping about you…
Lady V : Noooo we’re noooot….. Sorry……… You look great, you look great!! Nice leather coat!
Miss K : PERFECT fit!!! Loooooove it……!
Lady V : Okay, see you later…….
(Walking away from Limbad)
(Suddenly we bumped into someone who looks familiar but looks 30 years younger..)
Ridho Rhoma
Miss K : ……… Uuuummm……….. V.. Who is this guy??
Lady V : Oh no….. I can’t stand his chest hair…. Iiieeewww….. It’s Ridho Rhoma, K!!! Huhuhuhu…. I don’t wanna look around anymore… I have enough of this red carpet… Please take me home….
Miss K : ……………………….. OK! Let’s go!
With all our hearts & love,
Miss K & Lady V
