Who the hell are they?

Aishiteru

Okay…. You see this picture above. Just fyi, The band’s name is Aishiteru, I’ve never heard their music and I don’t bother to know. All of my life I’ve been judging people by their fashion and music taste (we’re not talking about heart and feeling here, okay.. hahah). Sorry that I have to say in honest that these boys style are major disasters… What more bad things can I say?

Why don’t we just listen to their explanations :

The boy in the far left with stripes blazer : “Actually I don’t understand why I have to wear this with un-matching tie I borrowed from my dad. My friend in the middle pushed me to dress like this or else he will hit me with his stick. I’m scared.”

The boy with sunglasses and red jacket : “This is the coolest shoes I have, I want my outfit dominated in red so maybe our band will get an offer to support Megawati’s campaign…”

The boy with a strange collar or tie or whatever it is who’s also wearing hand gloves : “I’m the leader in this band. No one can wear these white hand gloves but me! Only me! HA HA HA HA HA…. The others in this band only can wear sneakers… And I’m the only one who can wear a hat in this band…!!! HA HA HA HA HA. I STAND OUT from the others…”

The boy with red tie and too-short-too-tight blazer : “Ehrm… I’m fine…. It’s not too tight…. Uff.. I’ve been practicing to hold my breath all the time so I’m shaped with this outfit… Ughh..”

The boy in the far right with outdated Tin Tin hair : “Playing in this band is not enough to pay my Kost-an rent, I have to do another job as a Door Man in a hotel… And the only reason I’m staying in this band only is because I wanna be close with this boy beside me, I just wanna hug him aaaall the time…. Mmm.. that’s off the record though..”

Well…Okay, guys..Whatever…. Good luck with your career…!!!

With love,

Lady V

Now what, Sania?

This woman succesfully cracked me up with this photo :

Sania

Could someone please explain to me WHAT is going on with Siti Tuti Susilawati Sutisna A.K.A Sania….?? She looks like a disastereous mutant-soldier in an alien army from a body-hair-fearing planet, sent to Earth trying to get some part in Tim Burton’s Alice In Wonderland? No waaaayyy… Even this creature is too horror for Star Trek.

When I saved this note to this blog’s draft, the following IMs happened:

Lady V : Have you checked my draft, K? I have a surprise for you…
Miss K : Wait a moment… still opening..
Miss K : astaghfirullaaaaaahaladziiiiiiiimmmmmmmmm….. my eyes… my eyes…
Miss K : W T F??? I mean, seriously, just W T F?
Miss K : huahauhauhahuahuahuhuahuahuahuahauhau
Lady V : I know…. I know… Geeez… How desperate do you think she is?

I think she’s actually having fun. She’s worn so much crap in her career she probably doesn’t even notice how she looks anymore.

But this one is on top of everything else……

…………she looks retarded.

Well, boys and girls.. The moral that we can learn from this article is : Just because you’re wearing something different does not mean it’s stylish or fashionable. This is not edgy, it’s disturbing.

With love,

Lady V

Santainya Sania

Sania

Eeeew…Look! It’s a giant wedding cake figurine! Although she’s not wearing a wedding dress… It’s more like an outfit made of very cheap grandma lingerie and old daster she could find in Gede Bage market and combined them to create this one of a kind trashy dress. It also reminds me of a night gown from the 18th century, but the difference is while they wore it to sleep you’re wearing it in public dengan santai sajaaa… Well done Sania…

With all my heart,

Miss K

Dukun Segalanya

Denada

OH MY GOD….WTF?!!!   …..    ……..     ……..

I’m in SHOCK…  I couldn’t think of what to write about this wacky look.  It caused disturbing frustration to myself, this disaster is simply unforgivable!

I don’t think I need to find any words to comment here or explain in detail about what is wrong with this look. And I can’t stand any longer to stare at this photo.

Ampuuuun Mbah Denada, saya jangan di santet yah karena posting photo ini di blog saya….

With love

Lady V

Disaster Vena Segalanya

Vena Melinda

Duuuh.. dududuhhh…. The whole outfit makes me nauseous. Can I report this outfit as an abuse? This is too much mishmash, woman! It’s a combination of Baywatch swimsuit under that top she stole from a Bollywood actress with annoying gold tassels in the middle. I don’t understand what’s going on with her hideous pants?? What the heck are those ribbons on the sides and those strange-shaped patches attached on her pants? Seriously that’s like the most horrible piece you can find in Mangga Dua. Anyway, I think I had the same heart-shaped necklace, that was in a Barbie dress up pack I got when I was 6.

Well, at least she’s consistent. Consistently ridiculous. My code word is WHEN. WHEN are you going to start looking in the mirror before you leave the house! Please God… send her signs……..

With love,

Lady V

Alkisah Putri Titian dan Gaun Ajaib Segala Warna

Putri Titian

So she wants to dress her age (which is…..14?? dunno the exact numbers). This is NOT how to do it. You don’t go to a material shop to get all colors they have there of a certain motif and put it all together into a tiered dress. Especially if that certain motif looks like something people would use for bedsheets!

Although I must say I kinda like the hair and the headpiece (can’t tell from this angle), I think it’s cute. But the multicolored dress looks soooo cheap! And what is it with freakin’ BOWS??? Girls.. They only belong to gift wraps!!!

Grrrrrr…

With all my heart,

Miss K

Segalanyaous Agnezious

Whoaa… Ugh.. yeaa.. is that your kool monkey dance?? Open your ears and hear us shout ‘Whaddup A-hole…!!! Yooow..! Say whaaa’ whaaaa’…! Say heeeeeeey…. Say hoooooowww…. Say hey hey hey…. Say hoo hoo hoo….’

Hmmm… We think for the promo of your new album ‘Sacredly Agnezious’ you can do a dance battle with Orang Utan.. So it’s gonna be Scaro Agnezious vs Pongo Pygmaeus!! How awesome is daaat??

Move it, girl!! YEAAHH… Whatcha got underneath the oversized hoodie karate uniform??

Agnes Monica 1

Oh my god…! No wonder you were hiding it.. You look like a suicide bomber with tiny grenades attached to your vest ready to blow up those mothaf***ers in the audience! And is that the controller on your hand? We don’t even wanna know what those blotchy marks on your ermm pants..

We can see you’re really mad.. Look, we don’t know what your problem is.. But now that we look at you again, you look like a furious Ngkoh-ngkoh who has a cancer with that new haircut…….

Agnes Monica 2

Ready to blow yet?? Here we go…………

Agnes Monica 3

Then she starts singin’……..

Kuhidup dengan siapa
Ku tak tau kau siapa
Kau kekasihku tapi
Orang lain bagiku

Kau dengan dirimu saja
Kau dengan duniamu saja
Teruskanlah… teruskanlah… Kau begitu…..

Okay okaaay… Enough. We got your point.

With all our hearts and love,

Miss K & Lady V

Waria adalah segalanya…..

Behold……

I present to you DRAG QUEEN OF THE YEAR!!!

Pingkan Mambo

Is this Shirley Temple in 2009?

Finally this she-man got sick of his/her Barbie look… And you know, Barbie isn’t cute anymore.. She never was..

I wonder what she/he is wearing under the over sized tutu..

Then again…. I don’t wanna know…

Enough. Puke.

With all my heart,

Miss K

Segalanya Girls

Aura Kasih, RATU & Nindy

Mey Chan : “Kyaaaa…!! Kami menang… Aku udah siap2 soalnya pakai sarung tangan biar enak megang pialanya… ga keringetan gituuu…”

Maia : “Al, El, Dul…. ini buat kalian nak…”

Nindy : “Aheheheh..Ah..eheheheh…”

Aura Kasih : “Ah kalian bisa aja… Aku tau pita dari rambutku ini memang lucu…” *ngebenerin poni*

Mey Chan : “Aku Mey Chan, aku balerina yang suka makan sambal blachan…”

Maia : “Al, El, Dul…Liat dong baju Mama, mau saingan ama Naruto dan Ninja Hatori… Kalo Mama kekuatannya ada di bibir ini nih…Kapan kalian ketemu mama lagi yah, nanti kita main ninja2an…Ada jurus rahasia bibir..”

Nindy : “Eheheheheh… ah… aku pacar nya Qibil Changcuters  loh… aheheheheh…eh…ahehehehe”

Aura Kasih : “Kenapa kenapa?? Make up ku bagus…? Ah, iya dong… Si teteh langganan ku ngeracik sendiri bahan2 alat make up nya, alami banget.. Jagooo ya ngedandanin nya aku jadi putih bgt kaaan…Bibir ku juga pas bgt deh merah delima…Eh eh… udah liat belum pita dari rambut ku ini… bagus yah??” *lagi lagi ngebenerin poninya*

Mey Chan : “Aku mau melompat lompat… biar tutu ku ngembang2…”

Maia : “Biarpun udah lama gak ketemu Al, El, Dul.. Kalian tetap jagoan2 mama…Untuk itu Mama akan tetap bergaya seperti Jagoan Neon..”

Nindy : “Ahehehehe…eh..eh..Bunda bunda.. Aku juga mau baju kaya Bunda, matching ama boots ku ini.. Ahahehehe.. eheheheh…duh kalian minggir dikit dong..aku ga keliatan di kamera nih.. ahahaha..ahehehehe..”

Aura Kasih : “Eeeeh… udah liat blum pita dari rambut ku iniiii?? kereeeen yaaaa…” *usap2 poni lagi*

……..

………….

……………… Kalian memang segalanya..

With Love,

Lady V

ps : fyi, Aura… I really hate Lady Gaga’s stupid hair bow… But it’s even worse when I see it on your brainless head…

Lady Gaga

Taulah Tegalanya (T2)

T2

Tika : “Tiw, why are you wearing that dress? Don’t tell me that you forgot to take your laundry? We should wear the same theme of dress tonight..”

Tiwi : “I’m sorry I totally forgot…But I came up with this idea, don’t you think it’s coooool huh…? I found this photo of Macaulay Culkin spitting on the cover of a magazine that I stole from the coffee shop we went last week.. I don’t know what magazine that is actually…”

Tika : “Then you iron-transferred on your white tube dress? That’s really cooool beib…!”

Tiwi : “Makasih, say…. Anyway..Did you already fit that dress before?”

Tika : “No, I didn’t.. It’s a one night made dress, the designer didn’t sleep all night to finish this dress for me..”

Tiwi : “Probably she was  too sleepy when she cut the fabric, I can see it’s miring-miring… Or maybe it’s the concept of the design..? And it’s obvious that she didn’t have time to iron-press it… Oh well.. What can you do… It’s a one night made dress..Have to appreciate it…”

Tika : “Oh ya, Tiw… Did you steal one of my earrings? I can’t find it anywhere, well but I think it’s kinda cool to wear one earing… So yeah….”

Tiwi : “Okay, Tik…I think we both look really cool tonight… Let’s pose now..!!”

Tika & Tiwi : “aa..aaa.. OK…”

OK T2..!! It’s just my imaginary cool dialogue when I saw this photo. For you who made the dresses, I know you’re just designing trashy stuffs for a living. Do what you have to do.

With Love,

Lady V